Clutter & Chaos

I’ve been reading various blogs and repeatedly keep coming across the topic of clutter. How to get rid of clutter. How to organize clutter. Things like that. I find that in my life, when I come across a specific topic over and over, there is a direct message for me. Something that I have come to recognize about myself is that the clutter (or mess) in my closet is a direct reflection of what is going on in my life.

When I first moved into my apartment last year, my closet was in perfect order. I even bought the clear plastic shoe bins, so that I could finally organize all my shoes (Wow! What a shock to find out how many pairs of shoes I had – I’ve since bought more shoes and am in need of more bins!). My clothes were nice and organized, I bought these really nice bins for my sweaters – I even made labels for them...I have one for just Victoria’s Secret sweaters, one for other sweaters, one for knit tops and one for sweatshirts. Everything nice, neat and organized.

When I moved into my apartment, I was trying to figure out my life – having that sense of orderliness was one thing I could control. But over time, as my emotions have fluctuated and as feelings of chaos have come and gone, my closet has become more and more disorganized. Shoes & clothes lying all over the floor. Those shoe bins that I was so excited about, sitting empty...the lids sitting all a skewed.



I’ve reorganized a few times over the past year – which gave me back that sense of orderliness – a sense of security. But after my break-up in March things just got out of control and now the mess has spread to my bedroom. I have a chair in the corner that is now permanent residence to some of my winter clothes that I just don’t have the room for. Another corner of my room has my suitcase and carry-on bag from my last trip....and there is a bag with clothes I bought for this fall, but no place to put them, so they are sitting in the corner waiting. The clothes I wear to walk my dog have taken up permanent residency over the footboard of my bed.

The thing is, the feelings of chaos in my life are no longer there. Things are falling into place. I had 2 wonderful vacations this summer that were life-changing. I am happier and more content that I have been in a very, very long time. E & I are back together! So, what is going on? Why is my closet in such disarray? Why is it spilling over into my bedroom?

I think now I’m just using excuses to not do it. I look in my closet and it feels a bit overwhelming, so it’s easier to just close the door than to deal with it. And I have HUGE changes happening in my life....luckily this time they are all good, but still, with all the change that has happened in my life over the past 2 years, even good change creates a sense of chaos. Hmmm, there’s that word again - CHAOS.....I hadn’t thought about it before, but not all chaos is bad....some stems from good things! (I may have just come up with another topic to write about! Chaos...bad vs. good). But even good chaos is still...well, it's still chaos.

My new changes, you ask? As I said, E & I are back together. He has asked me to come to Rome, Italy, with him while he is at school until February 2010 and then we will settle in Norway after that. So, I’m quitting my job, giving up my apartment and have found a good home for my dog (which is the part that really sucks! But I know he will be well loved and taken care of). Oh, not to mention that I’m moving to another country, far away from friends and family...well, actually 2 countries....and I don’t really speak the language of either! It’s exciting, romantic, thrilling, wonderful and scary all at once! Chaos!

Ok, maybe I’m not really using excuses like I stated earlier. I do have chaos going on. OMG - once again, my closet reflects my life and somehow I had convinced myself that there was no chaos, I was just being lazy! But, I admit, there is a part of me that says that I’ll be packing up and moving soon, so why not just wait until its time to pack to put all my shoes back where they belong? Good excuse, huh? Ok, maybe not. I just convince myself that I can’t put it off any longer, as the time gets closer and closer it will be so much easier if everything is already organized. I can’t put it off - I’ll tackle my closet this weekend. I’ll save the clothes in my bedroom and the stuff in the corner for another day.

So, now I’d like to ask you to think about the clutter in your life and why you have it? Is it just the way you are? How does having this clutter in your life make you feel? Do you feel different when everything is nice and neat and in its place? Does it add comfort or stress to your life? And the big question: Are you like me and does your clutter reflect what is going on in your life?

Namaste,
Carol
a.k.a. Gaia Sol

By the way, check out this post by Porsidian: I Totally Screwed My Karma...its hilarious!