Stressed About Good Things

I woke up this morning feeling like there was a weight on my chest. It's hard and almost painful to take a deep breath. This is usually an extreme stress symptom...usually signalling something is very wrong and I'm really upset. But I'm not upset, as a matter of fact, I'm feeling quite happy and excited about my upcoming move. But I realized when I wrote my last post that all these upcoming changes are creating a lot of stress for me...even though they are good changes and I'm looking forward to them.



I have two weeks....just 10 working days....left at my job. Then family to visit, boxes to pack up, say good-bye to my friends...my incredible support system...and then I'm on a plane heading to Rome. Wow! This is really happening! I think a part of me didn't think this day would come and now its almost here.

E and I talked this morning. I think when people are on the verge of starting a new life together they run the risk of getting caught up in the fantasy...everything will be all roses and sunshine. But I tend to be a realist. I know there will be ups and downs...of course, I am putting my focus on the ups. I know there will be a period of transition for us, but I know we will work through it. When we talked this morning, E told me that what he is looking forward to the most is the day-to-day stuff. He wants to see how we are together on an everyday basis - not being on vacation, but in a real live-in situation. He wants to see how I am day to day. He wants to see me when I am when I'm sad, so he can comfort me. He wants to see how I am when I'm happy, so he can share in that. He wants to see how I am when I'm angry (that doesn't happen very often). He also told me a couple weeks ago that he's looking forward to just sitting on the couch talking or being snuggled up watching TV. It's the simple things....the same exact things that I'm looking forward to and he wants all of it and is looking forward to it too!

I'm looking forward to all those things too. I'm also looking forward to knowing that there is someone there each morning when I wake up and again when I go to bed at night. I'm looking forward to having someone there to share special occasions with - birthday's, holidays, etc. I'm looking forward to being held in his arms, making each other laugh and more than anything - just being who we really are without having to hold back.

But even with all these things I have to look forward to and am so excited about, its all very scary too! I'm leaving and everything and everyone I know to go to a foreign country.....exciting, romantic and scary! This stress just kind of creeped up on me. These feelings are creating a sense of chaos in my life that I talked about in my last post. No one told me about the stress of it. But I can handle it and will work my way through it so I can go start my new and exciting life in Europe!

Namaste,
Carol